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NASCAR for dummies

I eat cereal every day for breakfast.  And recently our TV broke in the kitchen, leaving me with nothing better to do than read the cereal box.
I am currently eating through a box of Honey Nut Cheerios.
They now have this idea to put an iron-on on every box for T-shirts.
Of course, these iron-ons have a NASCAR theme...

<disclaimer>If you are a NASCAR fan, the following post will not likely be your favorite so far, but I need to show this.</disclaimer>

I don't have a picture of the "wonderful" iron-on, but it is not impressive, and I am pretty sure, anyone with a T-shirt like that should be laughed at.
Anyways, there is a fairly large text box near the bottom corner of the back panel.
The contents of this textbox are:

CAUTION!
This activity involves using a hot iron.  Only
an adult should do this activity, Be careful:
cardboard transfer will still be hot.
Do not iron while wearing the shirt.

Alright, this is wrong on so many levels.  I had been thinking of doing a post on stupid warnings for quite some time, but have never been all that passionate about it. Well, here is my chance. I don't like NASCAR, and can't bring myself to watch it, except to 'admire' the fans.  It is no secret that the fanbase is largely considered "rednecks" (stereotype, I know). So this warning was particularly hilarious for me to read.  First off, it is clear that the final comment is directed at "adults" since the first part clearly indicates "only an adult should do this activity". So, where would I find an adult capable of working an iron, yet too stupid to avoid using it on a shirt while the shirt is on somebody, or even themselves???  I am totally envisioning a half-drunk guy trying this out to get his kid a "cool" T-shirt.  For some reason, I also am seeing this iron-on going just below the tour dates on a Tim McGraw T-shirt.

My wife told me not to post this, to be kind to my NASCAR loving family, but I suspect that even the modern NASCAR fans realize the majority of the fanbase still fits the stereotype.

Posted: Saturday, February 04, 2006 11:10 PM by Dino
Filed under: ,

Comments

Amanda - sister said:

OK - So I am a Nascar fan and cannot wait for next weekend when it all starts back up for a great 9 month season! Dale Jr. is the man this year. But I digress - I have to admit that I completely and totally agree with your observation about the cereal box and it's ridiculous "instructions"! You crack me up with how funny and smart you are Dino - keep it up!
# February 5, 2006 6:48 PM

Reznor said:

Okay, I see your sister is a NASCAR fan so I will be gentle.

Turn Left
Turn Left
Turn Left
Turn Left
Get more gas, clean bugs off windshield.
Turn Left
Turn Left
Turn Left

That about sums up NASCAR. I do more real 'driving' on my way to work. Plus, 99.99999% of people watch NASCAR for the crashes. (remaining knocks on NASCAR have been edited).

Sorry Amanda.

As for warning lables... *shakes head*
# February 6, 2006 5:20 AM

Dino said:

Wow, how timely that the season is starting up again; I had no idea...
I found myself editing much of my post too, since my family might make up 90% of the views on this site. All the comments about parking the RV filled with 'Bud' in the infield to put your lawnchairs on the roof were left out.
# February 6, 2006 2:17 PM

adam said:

The whole 'left turn' thing is spot on. Except no bugs. To put it in the form of a bash script:

for x in `seq 1 1000`; do
turn left;
done


There's the indy 500.
# February 8, 2006 11:46 PM

Scott said:

Really now Dino, an RV filled with Bud and lawnchairs parked in the infield sounds like an excellent way to watch a race. Now while there are definitely a fair share of 'rednecks' who are NASCAR fans (especially in the southern reaches of the country) NASCAR fans come in all walks, and if you use Jeff Foxworthy's definition of 'rednecks' - You might be a redneck if - almost everybody fits the redneck mold to some extent. Very similar to football. In fact in a lot of cases I see more fans at a football game that should be 'admired' than at a race. The RV full of beer scenario at a race is not that much different from the tailgate party that football fans are famous for. Ultimately it comes down to the vices and habits of people, lots of people are just looking for excuses to drink in excess and have something to hoot and hollar at.

To your original intent of stupid warning labels though is a good one. My belief is that stupid warning labels are only added after somebody does something extremely stupid first. Right now there is probably somebody walking around with an iron burn scar on their chest or back saying, "I wish that warning was on my cereal when I got that WWF iron on."

And I'll finish here with some of my own stupid humor: You might be a PROGRAMMER when you refer to a cereal box warning as a TextBox. [I did warn that it was stupid humor]
# February 12, 2006 8:29 AM

Reznor said:

Okay Okay, I don't know who Scott is but to even put NASCAR and Football in the same paragraph is insulting on a cosmic level. I know your just comparing 'fans' and not 'sports' since NASCAR is not really a sport, it's just strange to see them next to each other.

You are right, people are always searching for reason to drink. I do remember a few MSU tailgate parties where I woke up in the same spot I started. However I was a college student then so it was expected. Plus, being a Spartan fan, we had to do something to kill the pain of watching our football team. Today I rarely drink. Maybe it's maturity, maybe it's just not my thing.

I was thinking about the warning label thing some more. I figured if we removing ALL warnings, rely on common sense, then natural selection will take over, thus leaving America with a much smarter population. We should start this in California.
# February 13, 2006 5:52 AM

Scott said:

I think that removing the warning labels would thin the herb a little, but it will mostly just make the stupid easier to pick out in a crowd as over time they became disfigured from adding irons ons...

California is definitely the place for a trial run of this idea.
# February 13, 2006 6:35 AM

Dino said:

wow, this is a hot topic...
Adam, you took this blog to a whole new level of geekdom. I feel the need to add a line or two. NASCAR hypes the pitstops as the make or break moments. And, now that I think about it what other sport makes such a big deal about the timeouts. Most take commercials for that, but in NASCAR the exciting stuff takes place in 1% of the total event time... Anyways, we should probably add a couple if statements:
If (x mod 50 = 0) OR (Flag=Caution) then PIT;
Alright, not familiar with bash, but this is roughly it.
# February 14, 2006 7:00 PM

Reznor said:

^See what type of people NASCAR attracts.
# February 27, 2006 11:37 AM

Dino said:

I have removed the comment to which Reznor refers to avoid someone even accidentally clicking the SPAM link. And Mr. Amin, if you read this, leave my site alone. You will never meet the criteria to SPAM my site!
# February 28, 2006 2:13 PM
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